21 Weeks Along - Progress Report for Mom, Dad, and Baby

So, I am happy (yet somewhat terrified) to report that we are 21 weeks along now in the pregnancy - more than half way there to D-day (aka. DDDDelivery day). I can't believe this pregnancy is moving along so quickly. When it first started out, I thought time was standing still. But now...

We're going to be parents, like, tomorrow. I don't feel ready yet. We are doing a good job of getting things together to prepare for the little guy's arrival. But, as far as making the emotional transition into being a real Mommy - and for the rest of my life? It's not happening this fast is it?? We only have 4 short months left.

While I don't feel very ready psychologically, I do feel like Dad and I are doing a pretty good job getting ready on a practical level. Dad has been helping me do exercises almost every night so that we will be ready for pre-labor, and so that I'll be more fit for the whole process. He encourages me to eat my vegetables, and he goes on walks with me. (VJ isn't here yet, but Dad is really making sure we have a strong family!) I've also been taking yoga every couple of days to try to stay strong and flexible...

Anyway, about VJ's progress. According to babycenter.com our baby is 3/4 of a pound this week, and almost a foot long. He has been kicking, but I barely feel it. I want to say that I've only felt about 8 total HINTS at a kick since last week (and ever). But soon, his kick should be getting more intense and noticeable.

Dad and I have signed up for a Bradley Method class, and we have already attended 2 lessons (weeks) of this 13-week course. I can't say we have learned a lot just yet. The best aspect has been that we spend at least 2.5 hours together each week, just focusing on taking in information about the birth together. It is also reassuring to meet and hear some of the other couples' concerns.

The last class was almost 2 hours on nutrition, which is obviously very important, but the information is pretty much all on line. (The Bradley Method recommends that pregnant women follow the Brewer Diet, so as to avoid premature labor, preeclampsia, toxemia, and general poor development). We got special charts to take home to keep track of our food intakes. I have been trying to follow the guidelines since then, but to be completely honest... it's too much food. I just can't eat as much food as this diet recommends in a day. I feel pretty confident though that I am taking care of the really important stuff - like adequate nutrition from very good quality foods (milk, eggs, veggies, cheeses, etc.)

One thing new and very important that I learned was that the 8th month is the most important when it comes to brain development for the fetus. That was interesting to know....

MomsJustKnow.com

I just shamelessly cut and pasted the list below of things to buy for a newborn. I stole it from my friend's amazing starter website www.momsjustknow.com because I wanted to keep it at arm's reach as we prepare for VJ's arrival.

What do I need to keep my baby happy & healthy at home?
o nasal aspirator
o diaper rash ointment
o 2 packages of disposable diapers
o 2 dozen cloth diapers (for burp cloths)
o gentle baby soap
o no tears shampoo
o 2-4 pacifiers (you will lose them)
o blunt baby nail scissors
o baby brush and comb set
o alcohol wipes (for the cord)
o 4-6 bottles (4 and 8 ounce size)
o bottle brush
o 2 nursing bras (if nursing)
o disposable or washable breast pads (if nursing)
o breast pump (if nursing)
o 6 bibs
o 2-4 hooded bath towels
o 4-6 wash clothes
o 4 bassinet sheets
o 2 waterproof mattress pads
o 2 quilted crib pads
o 3-4 crib sheets
o crib bumper
o 2 comforters (depending on season)
o 2 crib blankets (depending on season)
o 6-8 snap t-shirts or onesies
o 4-6 lightweight sleepers
o 6-8 receiving blankets
o 6-8 baby gowns with pull-ties
o 4-8 pairs of booties or socks
o 1 sweater
o 1 snowsuit (depending on season)

So far we have managed to already gather a small storage supply of baby stuff (but not many things on this list yet!), so that we won't be too overwhelmed with all the expenses when VJ finally comes in October. Mainly through steals I have found on craigslist, we have bought VJ a car seat, baby boppy, some clothes (night gowns/PJs, socks, hats, and onesies), 3 receiving blankets, and a co-sleeper. Tomorrow Dad and I are going to buy a crib with mattress and baby bumper - and then on Saturday we will buy a Exersaucer we found (for $4 - amazing)!

Oh yeah, AND last month, we just bought a new car for the little guy! Since Dad and I both drove trucks until now, we had to buy a baby-friendly automobile in which to put the car seat. Man, this kid is clearly already ruling our lives, and he is barely a 20-week-old fetus! (Obviously I am not complaining too much about this though - Mom got a new car!) This is a picture of our gorgeous new, pre-owned Honda - as it was advertised by the car dealer.

The list of things to buy is endless. The next crucial things on my list to buy are a snap-n-go stroller for our car seat, a bathing basin, and ... I thought I'd never hear myself saying this, but... (omg) a breast pump!

VJ's first home movie: Heartbeats and Ultrasound

Executive Producer: ST Carolan, aka "Daddy"
To view movie, please click on the arrow at the center OR at the bottom left corner of this image.

In this scene, VJ plays the role of an unborn fetus in which he displays his long legs and relaxed demeanor. VJ seems to be hanging cool with his head propped up and his feet kicked back on the wall of Mom's uterus, while showing off his strong heart beat to the audience.

Just kidding. This is VJ's second trimester anatomy screening on June 6, 2008. He really wasn't on a movie set in Hollywood - but down the road a few blocks at the UCLA Medical Center's Obstetrics Department. You can see toward the end of the film, that mom's belly was shaken by the ultrasound technician with the goal of getting VJ to move around. You'll see him kick his leg around and raise his hand just as the video ends.

Please be sure to turn your volume up as high as possible to get the full effect of his very strong heart beat. Enjoy the show~!

Mom's note: Once again, our little guy amazed us with "perfect scores." According to our doctors, he is developing very nicely, showing good growth, no visible problems, and plenty of amniotic fluid to hang out in. Apparently he likes to suck his thumb, as he often has his thumb in the mouth when we ultrasound him. The ultrasound techinician said that he is very very active in the womb.

Straight A's for our little guy, VJ!

Today I learned what it feels to be a proud parent, sharing some good news about our boy with Dad. We got a call from our geneticist to let us know that our little tyke passed his amniocentesis with flying colors. No major genetic defects! Horray!

I was unable to take the call so she left a message, which ended up being very fortunate. I was able to replay it for Dad later in the day. He seemed so pleased. Like I said, it really was like standing outside the principle's office after we had just heard her tell us our kid was a super star. We are very very proud parents. He got his first awesome report card.

Bradley Method vs. Hypnobirthing?

Argh, I can't make up my mind. I am really interested in taking classes to prepare Dad and me as best as possible for a natural childbirth. There are two notable methods that are taught these days, each with obvious "pros" over the other. I can't make up my mind - but have to very soon. In fact, a lot of the week-end Bradley Method classes that I have been looking into today are already fully booked up.

Anyway, I wanted to keep track of a web site with a great conversation string where mothers weigh in with their experiences with either or both of these methods. What I have gotten from these mainly is that the Bradley method is a child birthing class while the Hypnobirthing class is more about learning how to relax properly and overcome one's fears of birthing. The Bradley method classes include much more peripheral yet relevant information on, for example, proper nutrition, pre-natal exercise, developing a birth plan, and preparing for breast feeding. Although it does emphasize the *necessity* of relaxation during childbirth, many mothers write that it doesn't do such a good job of teaching it (spending only a superficial 15-20 minutes on it).

Meanwhile hypnobirthing is more of a relaxation class, which ultimately is apparently the most important factor in learning how to overcome/withstand labor contractions without feeling a need for medication. If relaxation/avoiding meds is your main objective, than the hypnobirthing class seems to be considered more effective. But if carrying out a well-rounded pregnancy - from good pre-natal health, helpful birthing techniques, and adequate preparation for breastfeeding afterwards - Bradley seems the better way to go.

Obviously there are clear advantages to learning both methods. If I were wealthy, I would just sign up and take both sets of classes. But at about $300 per registration - and with the Bradley class involving a time commitment of 12 weeks of meetings - it seems too extravagant for us to do something like that - especially given our pitiful budget. Also, while reading about the first two methods described above, I learned that their is a third method called "Birthing from Within," which lots of people are also raving about. And there is something called "hypno babies" and even "hypbirth" - which are both already different from "hypnobirthing" and, etc. etc. etc. It's all so overwhelming....

Meanwhile, Scott and I just visited some friends with a 6-week old newborn, and they warn us that we will spend months and months preparing for the actual birth, but then Boom - all of a sudden the birthing portion of having a baby is over, suddenly the parents face the arduous path of taking the baby home, adjusting to the baby, a new life of sleeplessness, and the psychological tolls of self-doubt and "good" parenting. So, in addition to the classes on birthing, it seems more classes on breastfeeding and childcare might be mandatory. ... (?)

Not to mention that I had originally wanted to hire a Doula to help us get through the whole process too...

Amniocentesis: Part II

So, I want to just skip to the good stuff: when preparing for the amnio, we found out that our baby is a BOY!!! (I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!) =)

To conduct the amnio, an ultrasound has to be performed so that the doctor can see where the baby is. The point is to avoid pricking the fetus when inserting the needle to pull out some of the amniotic fluid. In other words, the ultrasound shows the doctor where it is safe to prick the belly and puncture the amniotic sack without ever touching the baby inside.

At first, the person doing the ultrasound couldn't figure out what sex he was because his umbilical cord was sitting right in between his legs, and we couldn't get a good view. It seemed like it took a long time, but finally the technician was able to jiggle the baby enough so that we could see. (Incidentally, the technician informed us that we had a really active baby in there. He was moving all over the place) I had tears in my eyes when I learned. Of course, I think this is because I was really happy to hear that we had a boy. But also, it just made our having a baby (inside me!) that much more Real~!

This is one of the many pictures we got after the ultrasound. The baby is about 5.5 inches long here. The line shooting up from his face is his left arm, which he always happens to have in the "air" when we do our ultrasounds! We got a couple of other pictures, which I won't put up here. First, we got one of the babies testicles with an arrow pointing to them. I figure I don't want the kid to grow up mad at me for showing the world his privates, so that pictures is staying under wraps. Also, we got a 3-D picture of the baby too. I won't put that one up because, to be honest, he just doesn't look too great in that picture. - What I mean to say is, that the image is kind of spooky. The image is just clear enough to make out a lot - but still weird/vague enough to give everything this kind of gooey, macabre edge to it. I think it's an image that only a mom and dad (and maybe close relatives) would want to see anyway.

So, in addition to announcing our baby's sex, I also wanted to describe what the amnio was like. I have to say that it wasn't nearly as bad as I was anticipating. I'm usually not that squeamish about these things, but I had been pricked one too many times in the arm recently for the many pre-natal blood tests, and I was starting to get really tired of that. (It was starting to really hurt! More and more every time!) Another reason I was all frightened was because I had done a lot of reading, and descriptions of the procedure seemed so vivid and dramatic. I had also seen a video of amniocentesis on YouTube, and it was really graphic. (I don't recommend anyone watching any of those videos before going in for an amnio - really, it doesn't help at all) Apparently the procedure shown on YouTube is from the 80s, and it isn't accurate anymore anyway. But knowing that didn't make me feel any more relieved about how awful the test looked. Finally, I knew that there was a chance of miscarriage. And with that in mind, I thought there must be no way that this procedure could be minor, routine, harmless, or "unpainful".

But it was. First the doctor gave me a shot of anaesthetic, which really was harmless. As he was giving it to me, he informed me that that first prick was really going to be the extent of the pain... which was a big relief. Really, it was much less bothersome than the blood test pricks one gets when blood is drawn from the arm... The whole process only took about 3 minutes - if that. Also, I was very grateful, because my particular doctor tried to engage me with some light conversation, which helpfully distracted me from the actual process. Finally, when everything was all done, he stuck a bandaid on my tummy and told Scott to take me out to eat! : )

As for side-effects, I really didn't feel any of those either. The doctor said to be careful of cramping or bleeding mostly. But fortunately, I have felt quite normal since then (three days ago now). (Although I might mention that that night I slept extra long and hard - I really slept in the next day too!) I've been taking it easy for the past couple of days. The doctor warned me and Scott from my doing much exercise, lifting objects over 20 pounds, or doing practically anything that would put pressure on my belly. As far as I'm concerned, this so-called "bed rest" thing has been just fine with me though. I haven't really lifted a finger since the procedure - and it's been a great excuse for not having to exercise too : ) Finally today, though, I took a nice long walk so that I'll be ready for Yoga by next week. By the way, when I finally took my band-aid off a day-and-half later, one of the injection points was a little blue, like I had a small bruise there. It's already clearing up though.

Amniocentesis, Part I

Today Scott and I had an amniocentesis. It was a pretty nerve-wracking experience.

First of all, we were worried that our insurance was ultimately not going to cover it. Two days before the procedure, we got word from our insurance company that it would not cover an amnio unless the doctor deemed it a "medical necessity" in the paper work. We had never been told in those terms that it was a "necessity" so to speak. Our doctors and geneticist had simply explained that we faced high risks for having a genetically "flawed" baby, especially given our "advanced" ages (particular mine) over 35. We were told that the amnio was developed for parents in our "high risk" category of "advanced age" in order to determine that the state of health of our unborn baby. When I reported this to the insurance agency, I was told that this type of explanation did not clarify if the amnio was a "medical necessity." Making matters worse, the agent on the line emphasized to me that he could NOT guarantee that our insurance would reimburse any of the costs whatsoever.

How frustrating!!! (Someone could dedicate a whole blog to this topic of how obnoxious the insurance companies really are - but that will sidetrack me too much to start going off here, and now)

So anyway, to make a long story "short," we finally cleared that problem up with a few more phone calls and discussions. Finally we determined that on the insurance front, everything was probably going to be okay.

The second major quandary that we faced was stressing out about the safety of our fetus... (and even though the amnio is over now (and I feel fine) we're not quite out of the woods on this one yet.) Just yesterday a new acquaintance (with a newborn of 6 months) was telling me that she refused to have an amnio done - even though she was 41. She had had an experience witnessing a friend miscarry after having an amnio, and that had scarred her terribly. That was enough to make her decide not to put her own pregnancy in the same sort of jeopardy.

She kept asking me WHY I was going along with the amnio given the increased risk of miscarriage.

Personally, hearing about her friend's miscarriage immediately following her amnio just scared me to death. I started to really debate what exactly was the "medical necessity" of this procedure on various fronts - not just from the financial point of view of getting our insurance coverage.

I'm still not 100% decided on the answer to this. Should I have really put the pregnancy at risk - espeically knowing that our preliminary test results had been positive - and that neither Scott nor I had any major histories of genetic problems in our families. We thought about postpoining the amnio, so that we could deliberate the issues a bit longer. But we new that there was only a short window during the pregnancy when an amnio could be done at all. If we missed that window, then it would be too late. Finally, Scott and I decided to go ahead with the procedure anyway and to just try to keep as positive an outlook as possible.

More tomorrow on what the procedure was actually like - ugh!

The Baby Seat

Today Scott and I made our second "big" purchase for our baby: a baby seat. I got a great deal, which I found about 5 blocks away, advertised on craigslist. The babyseat we got was a Graco Car Seat SNUGRIDE in the gender neutral color of "WINDSOR- Green." It kind of looks like the image I included here.

The seat was only $35 - a steal - gratefully, since it will only work until our baby is 20 pounds. Then we will have to find yet another seat. Even though it was "used," it was practically brand new. I confirmed from the owner that it had never been in any accidents either.

The seat is really cute, but I was surprised how it, alone, already is kind of heavy. It's gonna be really heavy once we get a newborn in there!!

Another great feature about the seat is that it can be fitted up with a matching car-seat frame to make a stroller. I added this car-seat frame to one of the registries that we have been encouraged to set up. (More about our many on-line registries to follow.)

Our little lemon

Today there are a couple of important birthdays. Our little tyke has just turned 14 weeks old, and his/her cousin, Jackson, out in the big wide world, is one year old!!! Happy Birthday Jack!

I copied this picture from babycenter.com, which illustrates the size of our fetus. It's hard to believe that in only 10 short weeks, our little tadpole has come from being the size of a poppy seed (at 4 weeks) to now being the size of a lemon. He/she is 3 1/2 inches long now and weighs about a half ounce.

It is also apparently a big time for Mom (me!) now too. I have just entered the second trimester, when life is supposed to (emphasize "supposed to") get much much better. Just in time for Mother's Day (thanks little guy)... I have to admit that I don't feel nearly as queazy as I did several weeks ago; but I am still very turned off by surprising smells - like coffee - which I used to love. Also, I'm still waiting until I can be less tired. It is very VERY easy for me to sleep about 10 hours per night and then still want a nap during the day. It takes a lot of energy to grow a lemon! ; )

Anyways, it's good to know the baby is coming along just fine. In the past week I have had another ultrasound (this time successful), visited the geneticists, and had blood and urine tests. One more test is scheduled to see if I might be a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis -this will be conducted through yet another blood test. Then, in about four more weeks, we will have an amniocentesis. Man, this thing requires a lot of poking and prodding!!

I'm not someone inclined to prayer (Meditation is normally more my speed), but for the first time ever, I just want to ask anyone who is willing to say a quick prayer for the health of our baby!!! We want this lemon to grow into a full blown, healthy pumpkin within the next few months or so! Go baby go!

10 Weeks and 5 days - Our first trimester screening

Mom had an ultra sound today and found out that our baby has a strong heart beat and is really big. In fact, "he" is 5 days bigger than average, so the OB has moved his due date up to October 29 (Previously it was Nov. 3). Mom heard the heart (and actually saw it too - it was amazing - located somewhere near my belly button at this point). My heartbeat was measured at 160 per minute.

Incidentally, Mom has a strong intuition that I am a boy. I make her eat a lot (too much), am stubborn, and BIG. (Already sounds like one - or both - of my parents!!! hmmm) How does she know I am stubborn? Well, I was apparently sleeping during the ultrasound, and refused to wake up long enough for the technician to measure my "Nuchal Translucency" (NT). (Below, Mom cut and pasted what the NT is according to a definition on the Net). Babies are supposed to be in a certain position for the technician to measure the NT, but no matter how much she jiggled my Mom's belly to try to wake me up, I refused to budge. (Again, sounds like one of my parents!) This sleepy time is apparently normal (although Mom was slightly worried, the doctor said that this happens all the time). We are rescheduled to go back next week to try again before the NT disappears in another two weeks. Hopefully Dad can go with us then, and he can proudly hear how strongly my heart is beating! We are really fortunate because the hospital is only about a 5-minute walk from Dad's office, so he can just pop over for the ultrasound during his lunch hour.

Cut and Pasted from Toronto's Mount Sinai Web Page (Image is from here)

Nuchal Translucency/Early Anatomy Ultrasound:

A nuchal translucency ultrasound measures the fluid at the back of a baby’s neck between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy.

All babies have some fluid there, but babies with chromosome abnormalities such as Down syndrome, Trisomy 13, and Trisomy 18, tend to have an unusually high amount.

The most common explanation for a higher fluid level is some variation in normal development, but it can also indicate heart defects and certain rare genetic syndromes.

When during pregnancy is the ultrasound performed?

The test is performed ... between 11 weeks, 2 days and 13 weeks, 3 days of the pregnancy.

Measurements taken during the test are based on the crown-rump length of the baby, which is calculated by the ultrasound machine. Measurements taken outside the stated time frame generally cannot be used for screening tests.